I hear the sound of waves touching a shore, my skin is really hot and a scent of the sea is filling my nostrils. I try to open my eyes but the sun is too strong so I decide to keep them closed for a while. This is actually pretty comfortable, even the sand is soft. After a few deep breaths I feel even better. As the sun is getting stronger, my clothes are getting drier.
Finally, I manage to open my eyes, keeping them from direct sunlight. Pale blue sky is smiling to me. A tall tree leaned over me like a mother leans over a child to protect it from the rain. I could stay like this forever..which ends about…now…I kind of grew tired of this.
I sit up. To my right this beautiful sandy beach is ending in a cliff and to my left it is protected by forest. Try to imagine a perfect beach
just for yourself. This beach is exactly that for me (not you). Oh no, I am still in my sneakers! Well, I wont take them off now. They are stuck with me.
So…what do we have here, lets wander a bit. I pick up a cane as if it will protect me from the wild beasts that are lurking in the forest. I do feel a bit safer with it so I just might as well carry it with me. Forest is, well, green, like all those tropical forests we see on TV. Hmm is this a tropical forest? It sure looks like one. There are no bugs though. One would expect bugs here. Treetops are really thick but the sun still manages to shine through them. I feel like it’s patting my back saying – Don’t worry, i got you!
I pass by a wellspring with lovely blue flowers around it. I am thirsty but I decide to wait with that. My stomach is pretty bacteria-resistant but I don’t want to risk getting some infection.
As I walk, I notice some parts of the forest have ticker treetops than the others. In those parts of the forest, a sun can’t shine through the leaves so the ground there has no vegetation. I m reluctant to step in that part of the forest. For some strange reason it seems dangerous to me, as if the presence of the sun rays guarantees my safety whereas the lack of it invokes my doom.
You know that feeling you get when you walk alone from school or work – it is night, you are alone and u have a hunch somebody is watching you, maybe even following you, and you look around but you cannot see anyone? Well, that is called paranoia and you really ought to do something about that.
I have no such feeling at the moment. I am just chilling and wandering the island. True, this might not be an island, but it seems more exciting to consider it an island, maybe even a deserted island and I am like Tom Hanks in that movie. Except that I am much younger than him. Maybe it wasn’t Tom Hanks but some other actor. He grew all that beard and wait, how do women depilate on deserted islands? OK, OK, this better not be a deserted island because if it is, I bet I will grow all the hair I can and then
some rescuers will come to save me. And all of them will be guys…noooo even worse…it will be women…and they will say…look at that tropical jedi..yeti…where did she come from?
“Mkaaay hello there!”
Look at her…oh wait, you can’t…let me describe her for you. She is like that model girls, pretty nice body, long blond hair that is so long it covers her…oh boy she is naked on top. Actually, she is wearing only some kind of home made leather skirt. Don’t worry, she is topless but u cannot see a thing because her hair is covering it. So just relax and enjoy the story. In her left hand she is holding a spear – but it is not pointed at me – she is holding it like a guard would hold it. Actually, she looks like most guys would imagine tribal women on deserted islands in tropics. There is something wrong with her body though. All those tribal women I have seen in documentaries – you know those women that walk around half naked, they all had somewhat flattened boobs – this girl’s boobs are almost perfectly round. How weird. Or beautiful. It depends on the
point of view.
She gave me a sign to follow her so I decided to go for it. She is, as expected, moving like a panther does and I am, as expected, tripping over roots that are sticking from the ground. See, I knew my canvas sneakers will come in handy.
We are moving through the sunny part of the forest and I feel safe. I have my two protectors – the sun and the cane. Our trail suddenly ends in a vast plane. This is some kind of village or a camp. Houses are made of mud or something similar to that and its roofs are made of straw, or its tropical equivalent. There are plenty of women there, all similar to the one I have been following for two hours now. They are not clones though, only beautiful topless blond haired round boobed women.
Some of them are tinkering with food, some with fishing nets, others are renewing the houses or just standing as guards. My guide takes me to a small house and shows me a sign to wait there. These muddy houses are actually pretty cold on the inside, at least compared to the temperature on the outside. One woman enters – “This will be your home. Walk around
the village, decide which skill you want to build up and then join those women. Listen to them and you will prosper.”
“Wait, don’t you want to know who I am, how I got here, why am I here?”
“Yes, I do, but you don’t have answers to those questions so I wont bother asking.” she turned around and left.
As I walked around the village, I saw all women are working hard. Here I am now, standing next to the spear-women. One of them is giving me directions – “Take this log and hit a pillar with it. You need muscles in your head but in your body too.” To be honest, it seems boring, but in every movie warriors begin with something as silly as this. Yeah, there they are – blisters on my palms but I will continue with the practice – I want to impress those women.
After my practice, I applied a mixture of sea water and sand on my palms wondering what makes me think this will help the wounds. Women are going for a jog so am I. We are running through the sunny part of the forest. To my suprise, I can actually keep pace with them. I knew all that running will be useful one day.
It is when they turned into a dark part of the forest, when I stopped. There is something creepy in there and I really don’t want to go in. I turn around and jog back to the village. My instinct is leading the way because I sure didn’t remember the path we were jogging on. The village is empty. There is not a living soul in it. Where did all the women go?
It’s getting dark. I take the only fire that is burning in the village and I fire it next to my house. Great – there is some fish and bread next to the hearth. This will be my food for tonight. Tomorrow I will explain to women that I am not ready to step into the darkness just yet.