Listen to Tanita Tikaram’s “Twist in my sobriety”.

It was an epitome of a small family farm. One cute little barn for two cows and a bull, vast vegetable field and, of course, beautiful flowers on the windows and along the pathways. Parents with their two daughters were taking care of the farm. Ten year-old daughter Anna was in charge of milking and, sometimes, feeding the cows. Grown ups were taking care of all other farm business.

Read More »


S1 – Between two suicide attempts

Listen to “Let the sunshine in”..and really try to let it in.

“I remember I was on a train station, was heading home from work. My soul was aching for weeks again. It surprised me to feel the pain again. I thought I got out of everything bad around me, I thought rough times are behind me. I was listening to some music but it wasn’t helping. Truth to be told, music rarely helps, it just becomes soundtrack of your pain. This means it enhances your inner tears. Take for example “Let the sunshine in”, a song that played on a radio while I worked that day. It had triggered my pain and my eyes were full of tears. I don’t see the sunshine, I can’t remember when was the last time I saw it. Even if I did see a sun, I wouldn’t know how to let it in. How does a person let the sunshine in? It is not enough to open your heart, you need something that will breathe that sunshine in, pull it into your heart. In my heart there is only emptiness. Vast planes of nothing. But I wandered off the topic. Read More »

E9 – Blood stained undergarment

Listen to Rednex “Cotton Eye Joe”.

“Do you remember when we first met?”, she was sitting beneath empress’ legs, touching inner part of her right foot. Empress was laying on her tummy and wasn’t reacting to the touches so she continued.

“You were 16. So was I. It was raining that night, nature was raging for a reason unknown to us. You had been riding and hunting with your father for several days. Your dad decided you deserved to sleep under a solid roof that night so you two sought cover in an Inn you came across.
It was a dirty place, that Inn, full of diverse men. My father called them unpleasant but you found them very amusing. Loud men seemed to be alpha males only on the surface, because they surrounded themselves by calm men. The truth is, they were so drunk and mentally unstable that only calm men knew how to handle them. A few years later I learnt you were right about that. Anyway, you were dressed like a boy. I remember you telling me that your father doesn’t mind you dressing like that when you are hunting and you felt much safer pretending to be a boy.Read More »

If life gives you poop, just unroll the toilet paper

This one is a story for my son inspired by situations in the life of grown ups which, sadly, most of us encountered. You might recognize yourself or somebody dear to you in it.

A little girl wanted to play so she managed to find a place where children were put in a group to play together. Grown up there was impressed by her so he decided to squeeze her in even though there was no more place for new kids. Children there all wanted to have fun but couldn’t think of what to do. Finally, one boy suggested they should play with scissors and some glue. All the children ran home to fetch things they needed for their little project.Read More »

E8 – Tedium

This time listen to Nina Simone’s “Sinnerman”.

For the trip back to the empire, empress decided to dress like a man. She will be traveling alone with her old bodyguard and it is much safer for two men to travel together than it is for an old man and a woman. The two of them will travel much faster than the whole suite of manly protectors.
They traveled during the day and for the nights they were settling in some inns near the road. Somewhat 200 km from the empire’s border, they had to sleep under the sky because the night caught them nowhere near the inn they planned to sleep in. They probably lost a lot of time on her swimming escapade. Old bodyguard noticed that lake and the day was really hot. She told him it was worth it. She loved sleeping outdoors anyway. Her father made sure of that when she was a little girl.Read More »