S3 – Hope for tomorrow

ABBA “Chiquitita”

BAREly living
DEStiny PAIRed w&th SOLITUDE
WitHout a waY out

all I WAnt is to survive
to stop KEeping UP appearances
to Fly oveR the clOuds
to claim My star in the NIGHT sky
to ride a wild MARE on vast meadows

only PAtIeNce LEFT
allow me to STILL hope
maybe I will Smile tomORROW

Daily prompt: Struggle

S2 – Where will your soul go?

Listen to Željko Bebek’s “Gdje će ti duša” (“Where will your soul go”).

I sat behind her as she was unpacking her suitcase. Her strategy was to put all the clothes on the bed and then organize it into cabinets. Her dog was laying on the floor next to her. I honestly don’t know how she managed to persuade the receptionist to allow her to keep the dog in the room. When she turned and saw me, she got startled.

“Oh, you again.”

“Yes, did you think that was one time conversation on that bridge?”

“I don’t know, I was kind of hoping you were busy by trying to talk somebody else out of ending its own life.”

I didn’t feel like saying anything to that, observing her was much more njam than producing words in that moment.

Once she finished unpacking, she petted the dog, “Well, do you intend to be quiet today?”

“I just don’t feel like talking.”

“How will you talk me out of it then?”Read More »

S1 – Between two suicide attempts

Listen to “Let the sunshine in”..and really try to let it in.

“I remember I was on a train station, was heading home from work. My soul was aching for weeks again. It surprised me to feel the pain again. I thought I got out of everything bad around me, I thought rough times are behind me. I was listening to some music but it wasn’t helping. Truth to be told, music rarely helps, it just becomes soundtrack of your pain. This means it enhances your inner tears. Take for example “Let the sunshine in”, a song that played on a radio while I worked that day. It had triggered my pain and my eyes were full of tears. I don’t see the sunshine, I can’t remember when was the last time I saw it. Even if I did see a sun, I wouldn’t know how to let it in. How does a person let the sunshine in? It is not enough to open your heart, you need something that will breathe that sunshine in, pull it into your heart. In my heart there is only emptiness. Vast planes of nothing. But I wandered off the topic. Read More »